Well its been awhile since Ive been on here.. I have been meeting some interesting women lately that have been abused, very strong and determine.. It definitely gives me strength. I've been trying to read some books on other peoples abuse, just trying to learn as much as I can.. I had a divine apt, I call it anyway. God brought back someone in my life who I haven't spoke to in years.. I find out she writes books and would love to right my story.. So we will be working on that soon..I had the chance to learn a great deal from her years ago about how a non dis functional family acts lol. She is a wonderful person. I am excited I have always wanted to tell my story. I know it will help people and the more you speak of abuse the more aware people are. If I can help just one child that's amazing. No one should have to go through any type of abuse.. I would love to go to congress and have a law passed to have child abuse taught in schools.. I just saw on the news that Dr's are medicating 2 year old for bipolar, what the hell is that.. First they should look in the homes for abuse before they medicate.. What a world we live in..

Challenges

God has been giving me a lot of challenges this week between my husband and friends from church and even just being responsible for things. Its hard to have christian friends and have someone be out of line or just rub u the wrong way. Its hard to handle that cause you want to do and say the right thing and you don't want to make anyone upset. I learned this week to stick up for myself with out confrontation. Sometimes I go along with what people are saying even though that's not how I feel or that's not what I really wanted to do. I'm learning how not to do that, dont just smile and nod. Get out of your comfort zone..
I am taking about 40 people to the subways of Philly PA this weekend to feed the homeless. WOW its amazing I'm still shocked at how many people are going.. Last year it was 5 people. This is what happens when you are obedient to God and what he wants you to do.. I cant wait for more!!

My testimony,sexually abuse by both parents

Hello Im a survivor of sexual and physical abuse.. It started when I was 2 and ended when I was 12.. I remember a lot of stuff that went on.. My mom and dad both sexually molested and raped me.. They would have group sex with other people and me.. I would have sleep overs so they could molest my friends. one night my dads cousin snuck into my room and started molesting me and I started crying my parents woke up and he was asked to leave, I guess cause I was so upset in the end my dad said to me well if he would have asked first it would have been ok.. Then he told me to go back to bed.. One time my dad took me into a porn shop when I was about 4 or 5, I just remember looking at everything in shock. The guy who worked there finally made him leave. Back then things were really different huh.. When my mom did things to me the next day she would beat me and tell me I liked it when my dad did stuff to me.. Sex was such a big part in our lives it was normal to me..
When my parents separated my mom remarried and had my step dad molest me with her.. She would bribe me with money when I got older.. When I was 12 I knew it was wrong and I kept telling them no.. I also Got beat a lot by my mom for no reason.. If she was in a bad mood I would get beat or she would pull me around by my long hair until it came out..
When I was 15 I was in counseling and I started to share my story. My therapist had to report what I was saying to her and then came the court hearings. First my dad and then my mom and step dad.. My dad received 15 years and my mom and step dad received a plea that I allowed them to have. It took 4 years of court hearings That was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Well theres so much more to my story and I will keep sharing.
Im now married with 2 boys and I strive to be a much healthier and better parent. It is hard and I do have to watch my temper, but I do it. I have a homeless ministry called Help for our homeless. Its nice to give back when you can and even if you dont have much.. In my 20 I got addicted to drugs for 4 years through God I survived. Now I try to help others. I have been clean for almost 8 years now.

Old friends

Wow I conected with an old friend from my 20s.. Of course on facebook. It just takes you back , doesnt it? I was partying having fun going to raves. The music and the dancing so much fun. People everywhere tuns of friends. Yes sometimes I miss it BUT, Ive been clean for 7 1/2 years and I want to keep it that way.. Its just nice to think back on THE days..

My new group on facebook.

I started a new group on facebook called Help for our homeless. You should check it out.

Family

Today is a challenge to get through. Ive been haveing arguements with my sister and brothers girlfriend. They have such a chaotic life and they live in such denial with everything. Its so hard to be around them. I think I have to move on and not speak with them for awhile. I know you can have a family that destructive for you and its ok not to have them in your every day life. I do pray for them, I guess thats all I can do..
God does give us a another family weather its from church or friends, he wants us to really feel what its like to have a family bound.. Im closer to my celebrate recovery family them my own thats for sure..
I didnt speak to my family for almost 4 years before, cause of the abuse. Every time I let them back in thinking this will be different well I was wrong ha. I dont think im the only one who gos through that. Always trying to give them one more try just maybe this time it will be different. But if they dont think they need to change or are walking with God then things wont change ,you cant make anyone change thats for sure.. Well we will se what later brings..

1st day!!

Wow, OK I finally did this.. Hi, I'm so excited to have a blog. I don't know to much about blogging but I will figure it out I'm sure.. I have been wanting to tell my story and help other people for awhile now. I have a big testimony and have a lot of different areas that I can help in..